Jeff

Monday morning Ma texted all four of us kids that our cousin Jeff had gone into the hospital in Portsmouth, NH for pneumonia and sepsis. 

Yesterday she let us know he had been moved to Boston because it was an issue with his pacemaker.

I woke up this morning to a text from Ma that he had passed away in the early morning... He was 55, born only a few months before I was.

I replied and said I'd talk to her & Dad tomorrow, because I am not good with death, and I didn't want to be around anyone else for at least a day. After a surge of emotion and a welling up of tears I tried to live a normal day. It happened so quickly that it doesn't seem real.

At 2:00 I drove to Starbucks for a white chocolate mocha and a free bag of 2024 Anniversary Blend whole bean coffee, then it was down to the lake for the second day in a row. I walked my usual route with Chillhop Essentials - Fall 2018 in my ears. It was sunny and 60, so I hung out until 3:30 reading Asimov's Science Fiction magazine while drinking my coffee and enjoying the fresh air on this darkest of days, trying my best to blot out what had happened. It wasn't easy, but it was somewhat peaceful at least. 

Good-bye Jeff, you were always my favorite cousin, and it's not going to be the same without you around...